


oh, but look what you've done to your only son

by 530_and_some_fandoms



Series: oh, but look what you've done to your only son [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Agni Kai (Avatar), Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), I mean, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's Zuko, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Post Zuko's first Agni Kai, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar) whump, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, he is scared of his fire he's allowed to be sad, just Zuko being angsty for a little, there is no cursing i promise, what else did you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29348616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/530_and_some_fandoms/pseuds/530_and_some_fandoms
Summary: "Fire felt foreign.Zuko had never remembered a time when it had felt that way....If Father could see him now, Zuko knew he would laugh at the hilarity of it. Maybe make his banishment permanent and name Azula the heir.(But why would Father do that? He loved Zuko.)"
Relationships: Ozai & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: oh, but look what you've done to your only son [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155800
Kudos: 25





	oh, but look what you've done to your only son

**Author's Note:**

> Not me writing a short series before I've even started the next chapter for other one. ⚆ _ ⚆  
> I was in the mood to write some whump, so this is what happened.

Fire felt foreign. 

Zuko had never remembered a time when it had felt that way. With torches lining the palace walls and warmth from lit fireplaces during the winter, fire had always felt like home, even when he could barely call a spark to his hands.

Now, Zuko’s fire burned under his skin and it felt like an outsider. It felt unwanted. He could barely call a spark without flinching, but he was boiling underneath. Sadness and guilt and anger roared like a turbulent ocean during a storm, but he couldn’t make fire out of the emotions that raged beneath his skin. The fire wouldn’t breathe with him.

He wished it would. All he wanted was to let loose in a way that was more satisfying than letting sharp words fall from his tongue at all the wrong people. He wanted to call a wave of fire to burn everyone and everything in its path, and then maybe he wouldn’t be so angry. Maybe he wouldn’t feel like he was rotting away in this stupid ship.

Maybe Father wouldn’t be so disappointed in him. 

If Father could see him now, Zuko knew he would laugh at the hilarity of it. Maybe make his banishment permanent and name Azula the heir. 

(But why would Father do that? He loved Zuko.)

If he could see how his son stumbled about, depth perception thrown off by the bandage that covered half his face, still fighting wisps of a fever that had left him bedridden for weeks, Father might have taken pity on Zuko and let him come home. Zuko had learned his lesson, he really had. He had said so in a shaky and probably illegible letter he sent his father as soon as he woke from his delirium.

He just wanted to go home.

He just wanted to bend again. 

( _ A hand almost lovingly caressing his face. Zuko leaned into the touch unconsciously. His mother used to hold his face like that when he was young and crying because of something or other. She would wipe away his tears and say she loved him and that he had done nothing wrong.  _

_ His father must be doing the same.) _

Zuko wiped away at the tears trailing down the right side of his face, thankful that the left eye had apparently lost the ability to cry. It would hurt a lot more if the left side of his face could cry. It hurt to screw his face into anything other than a scowl. 

He was weak and a coward. A failure. He was crying because he was too much of a coward to even bend. His Father would be so disappointed in him if he could see his son in this state. 

( _ Fire consuming his face. Screams that didn’t sound like his own.) _

He was a baby that couldn't even face the torches in the hallways of his ship or sit in front of lit candles. He didn’t go up whenever the other benders on the ship were training, even though he desperately wanted to bend himself. 

He had tried to watch them once. The day ended with lungs that refused to breathe and blurry visions of fiery hands in place of his Uncle’s soothing ones. He didn’t watch the benders again.

Instead, Zuko spent his days in his room, pouring over scrolls detailing past Avatars. He identified weaknesses and strengths, reading until his single eye burned from the strain of it. Admittedly, that didn’t take very long, and Zuko lay in bed nursing the dull sting behind his eyes more often than reading. 

He couldn’t even read right anymore.

( _ Cold, amused eyes from the sidelines, filled with an almost psychopath humor. Zuko could have sworn he heard Azula’s laughter over his own screams.) _

He wondered if Azula was happy. She probably was. She was practically skipping when she told Zuko Father was planning to kill him and had always joked with too sharp words about being an only child. 

She deserved to be happy. He deserved to be banished. After all, who was the one who constantly messed up and left others to clean up their messes? Azula was perfect. She deserved to be Father’s heir, as much as Zuko was loath to admit that fact. Azula was perfect and Zuko couldn’t even bend right. The one thing he was lucky enough to be born with and it was taken away like it was nothing. 

The fire wouldn’t breathe with him anymore.

( _ The crowd was cheering. Zuko was burning.) _

Father had done this to teach him a lesson. He never learned quickly enough. Not like Azula, who was smart and quick. She read people the way Zuko never could and knew how to play the court to her advantage. Zuko stumbled over his words and feet. He never noticed when people were going to act until it was too late.

Zuko shut his eyes tightly, digging the heel of his palm into his working eye to stave off the tears that desperately wanted to escape. Zuko was weak and Father had proved time and time again that suffering was the best teacher. Only pain yielded results. 

Father had done this because he loved Zuko. 

( _ If it was love, why did it burn so much like hate? _ )

**Author's Note:**

> This series is going to be four parts longs and I think it's not even 5k words in total, so v short. I've already written it all out and it's Ozai POV of the Agni Kai and everything after that, because I totally needed to cry to myself about how Ozai thinks about Zuko. Spoiler alert: it physically hurt me to write it.  
> If that interests you, I'll be posting a part every day for the next couple of days.  
> Thanks for reading!


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